Holidays - new beginnig ?

Me and teenagers’ problems.

It's 11:08 pm. I decided to count the days of my perfect, cheerful holidays from tomorrow, so now I have about 50 minutes more of 'dark reality'. During the last 8 months I did things which, I think, every average teenager does in her or his life. I learned, spent time with friends, sat in front of the computer, did house chores and coped with things I considered ' hard not to worry about'.

Why are young people always concerned about small, stupid things that in fact, later, don't really matter? Does every teenager have that kind of problems? My first thought is : yes, they all worry about such small complications, but when I think about it more I can tell you ,NO definitely not! You don't know what I'm talking about? Here is the thing. It's about sex.

When you're a boy you don't care about anything. You just wake up, eat, do some things that help you get through the day, play computer games, eat, break somebody's heart and you just go to sleep with no pangs of conscience ! Ohhh I hate that! And you're right, I'm a girl.

Girls in my age are so.. hm I must say that : naive. When you're young you want to look perfect for boys, your girlfriends or for your "enemies" to piss them off. You want to be smart, intelligent and funny. Every day after school you have to go out, because if you don't do it you won't be popular. You have a perfect family, friends, grades, a fully developed virtual life in the Internet but something is missing... This is what you want the most at this moment of your life. 'True' Love. I don't' know if I'm right but I guess 95% of teenage girls want that. And you know what? I'll tell you that this is all LIE and it doesn't exist. Really. You want to know why? The answer is simple. Boys just aren't ready for love at this age( neither are girls, but they at least try to do something about that!), and we can't blame them for that. They're right when they say " This 'young adventure' (they mean love in girls’ language) won't survive" But why can’t they give it a try? Have some fun with another person? Are they scared? Nobody knows that, and nobody knows why when they already decide to hang out a little bit and when they send the signals which say "This is it. We're going to be very happy together", suddenly they run away and they leave you exactly at the same time when you wanted to launch out. !!!

I must admit that the feeling after such a situation is awful... You feel like this is the end of the world (I know this is a kind of overstatement but it's true!). You hate this person but in fact you want him to come back and you want to feel butterflies in your stomach again.

Usually people fall in love in spring and their 'hot romance' lasts the whole summer. They're happy. Then they fight, they break up, they kiss, they make up... and all those things make them happy and feeling alive!

Why do I care about it? And why do I compare my unhappiness to others' lives full of love ? I guess, because I want to feel it too. I want to feel happy. Especially after having waited for 'love', having found enchantment, having had butterflies in my stomach and finally after having had my heart broken by a careless teenage boy.

I said those were the last 50 minutes of "dark reality". I promise myself not to worry about small failures and just enjoy my life during the holidays. Now, what I want the most is to forget about things which happened lately and start a new chapter in my life with new "characters" and a new romantic plot.

So, let's the summer break begin!